Thursday, July 01, 2010

100 People

In the early days of the Internet, when there were some people with email addresses and some hold outs, it used to be fairly common for most of your email to come in the form of the "forward."  By now, if you are fortunate, this has mostly died out.  You'll get the occasional LOL cat,
 


but for the most part, everyone who's anyone knows better than to forward you a chain letter prescribing a bleak demise if you don't send it to 10 people.  For now, only your great aunt who just got her first AOL account is sending you shit like the following, which is something that came around circa 2001:

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THE WHOLE WORLD AS 100 PEOPLE

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look like this:

There would be:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere (north and south)
8 Africans

52 would be female
48 would be male

70 would be non-white
30 white

70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual
11 homosexual

59% of the entire world's wealth would be in the hands of only 6 people and all 6 would be citizens of the United States.

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition -- 1 would be near death, 1 would be near birth

1 would have a college education

1 would own a computer

Suddenly feeling fortunate?

Me too.
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2001 was a long time ago, so I did some checking around.  Here's an update:

Out of 100 people, there would be:

99 Asians
1 vaguely "brown" person named Alan

51 would be female
48 would be male
1 would be RuPaul

70 would be non-white
30 would have a great tan

70 would not be able to board an airplane without arousing suspicion
30 would be in-expertly trying to jam over-sized roller bags into the overhead compartment while mumbling under their breath about the "ferners" on the flight

89 would be able to get legally married
11 would be really snappy dressers

59% of the entire world's wealth would be in the hands of Dick Cheney, who, as I understand it, is the only citizen of the United States able to come and go as he pleases, commit treason at his leisure, not show up for depositions, embezzle, start wars, perjure himself, and shoot people in the face.

80 would live in Louisiana

70 would not be able to identify Louisiana on a map of Louisiana

50 would suffer from malnutrition -- 49 would be sitting in a McDonalds, the other one would be sitting behind Sally Struthers in a Unicef commercial

1 would have a Homer Simpson soundbox on his iPhone

100 would be able to re-create the Thriller video from start to finish

1 (probably Alan) would eat kittens for lunch


1 comment:

  1. That damn Alan is always fucking things up for everyone.

    I heart you.

    ReplyDelete